When Teachers Learn Too: Getting Gender Diversity Right in the Classroom

The first time I stumbled across a student’s pronouns, I felt the heat rise in my face. It wasn’t from disagreement, it was from unpreparedness. As educators, we pride ourselves on mastering our subject matter, yet few of us were trained in how to speak about gender diversity with confidence and respect. Twice, I found myself ill-equipped in front of my students. This article is my attempt to learn, and share, how to get it right from the very first session. 

Here's my guide to proper etiquette for teachers:

The student’s chosen name and pronouns

Always use the name and pronouns the student identifies with, even if their legal name is different. The name you have on your roster, whether from Progress or Brightspace, is their legal name. It is your responsibility to find out if the student uses a different name or pronouns. 

You can do this by using Brightspace to collect pronouns (see article for details how to do so) and asking your students to fill this in. If you’re unsure, privately ask a student how they would like to be addressed. 

In smaller classes, you can conduct a pronoun round with care. Invite (but don’t require) students to share pronouns on the first day. Avoid putting anyone in a position where they must “out” themselves. 

You might say, for example:

“My name is <name>, I use <pronouns>. I indicate my pronouns to let those for whom it is important know that I am an ally. Please include them in your introduction if you feel comfortable doing so.”

Or take a more general approach:

“If I make a mistake in addressing you, please let me know, and I will correct it. I’m also available if you’d like to discuss privately about how we can make this class more inclusive.”

If the group is small, you can collect names and pronouns on name cards, and model this yourself by adding your pronouns to your own card. Prepare one sentence to explain why you use do so, for example: 

“I invite (but don’t require) everyone to share their pronouns so we can address each other respectfully and work to create an inclusive learning environment.”

“Sharing pronouns helps create a classroom culture where everyone’s identity is acknowledged and respected.”

“I ask for pronouns as an optional way to ensure that no one is misgendered during our interactions.”

“Inviting pronouns is one way we can normalise respect and inclusion in our academic community.”

If there is resistance, you can respond calmly:

“That’s okay, sharing pronouns is optional. We simply want to ensure everyone is addressed respectfully.”

“I understand you prefer not to share; we’ll respect that and use your name as you’ve provided it.”

“Our goal is to create a respectful classroom. Even if you choose not to share pronouns, we still expect everyone to use each other’s names and pronouns correctly.”

“I understand not everyone has the same perspective. Here, though, our focus is on creating a respectful learning environment where everyone can participate fully.”

“If you’d like, we can discuss any concerns privately, but in class the standard is that everyone is treated respectfully.” 

Interrupt and address transphobic or discriminatory behaviour promptly 

If a comment or a joke undermines someone’s identity, respond immediately but professionally”

“That comment is not appropriate. In this classroom we respect each person’s identity and expression.”

“I want to pause here. We don’t make jokes about anyone’s identity. Everyone deserves to feel safe to participate fully. Let’s stay focussed on the discussion.”

Follow up privately with the student who made the comment, to explain why it was harmful, and check in with the affected student to make sure they are okay.

If you make a mistake…

If you misgender a student, apologize briefly and move on. 

“I‘m sorry, I meant ‘he’. Let’s continue…” 

Keep it simple to avoid embarrassment. Profuse apologies can shift the focus to your discomfort rather than the student’s experience. 

If you notice that you’re repeating mistakes, acknowledge it directly:

“I’ve noticed that I’ve been getting your pronouns wrong more than once. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to correct that.”

Repeated mistakes can erode trust and harm the classroom environment. They can make a student feel unseen, excluded or unsafe, even if the error is unintentional. 

Practice privately

Practicing privately helps insure you get it right. Rehearse students’ names and pronouns aloud, especially if you are new to using the singular they/them (or die/diens or hen/hun). This helps your brain rewire habitual language patterns.

“Quinn, they submitted their essay early.”

“Felix, they had a good point in class today.”

If you have a trusted colleague, ask them to help you practice using the correct pronouns (without disclosing the student’s identity or personal details.) Over time, it becomes part of your professional linguistic discipline, not a special exception. 

Further inclusion

• Use gender-neutral terms for groups (e.g. “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentleman”)

Include a short written statement for your syllabus. 

“This course is committed to creating an inclusive and respectful learning environment for everyone. The goal is to ensure that everyone is treated with respect. Discriminatory or disrespectful language or behaviour will not be tolerated in this class or in related online discussions.”

When relevant, include scholarly work by trans and nonobinary authors, or case studies that reflect diversity and representation. 

Final thoughts

Inclusion is not a matter of perfection, it is a practice. Each time we correct ourselves, interrupt harm, or make space for someone’s identity, we model what learning looks like. Getting gender diversity right isn’t just about etiquette, it’s about creating classrooms where students can learn and belong. 

Written by Michaela Carrière