Do you still exist when you are dead?
Answer by Brenda Mathijssen, associate professor of Geography and Psychology of Religion of the Faculty of Religion, Culture, and Society at the University of Groningen
Yes, it’s possible! Dying is not only a biological but also a social process. After a death, the bond you have with a loved one does not suddenly disappear. These relationships change, fade, or intensify, depending on the time and place. Some people talk to the deceased or propose a toast to them on their birthday at their grave. Or they might write letters to keep them updated on everything going on in their life.
What exactly does it mean to ‘be dead’? In the social sciences, a distinction is made between biological death and social death. Biological death takes place when the brain functions are irreversibly, permanently, and completely lost, meaning there is no way back. Social death occurs when a person’s identity fades, for instance when a person is no longer remembered. This can happen after a death, but also during a person’s life, for example due to extreme loneliness, exclusion, or illnesses such as Alzheimer’s.
Often, social death occurs gradually after someone has died biologically. The relationship you have with a loved one does not suddenly disappear, but persists and develops. People talk to their deceased loved ones, for example at a memorial, or experience their presence through material reminders in the home such as photographs and clothing.
The relationships that people have with their deceased are dynamic and change over time. This does not just mean that people may experience more or less intense bonds at different times, depending on their grieving process, but also that the deceased continues to develop socially. For example, you often see birthday cards on graves in the Netherlands that show the deceased getting older, even after death, as someone who died at the age of 47 may be congratulated on their 50th birthday. The deceased are also informed about new members of the family through cards announcing a birth. And then there are the drinks that, as the glasses and bottles on graves testify, are drunk with the dead.
In summary: in social terms, dying is a gradual process and the living maintain relationships with the dead. These relationships change, fade, or intensify, depending on the time and place.
Who is Brenda Mathijssen?
Brenda Mathijssen is associate professor of Geography and Psychology of Religion and Vice Dean of the Faculty of Religion, Culture, and Society at the University of Groningen. She researches the socio-cultural and psychological aspects of dying, death, and grief in contemporary Europe. For her research, she interviewed many bereaved families and funeral professionals and conducted ethnographic fieldwork in crematoria and funeral homes. She is currently working on an NWO Veni research project on the emergence of sustainable funeral practices.
UG Lustrum:
Celebrate 410 years of science with us!
This campaign is part of the University of Groningen Lustrum in 2024. The University of Groningen will then have been in existence for 410 years.
