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The honeymoon is over!

Date:18 October 2022
Author:Kitti Tóth
Kitti Tóth, 2022 Alumni Ambassador for Hungary. MSc in Change Management. (Photo: Gerhard Taatgen)
Kitti Tóth, 2022 Alumni Ambassador for Hungary. MSc in Change Management. (Photo: Gerhard Taatgen)

Did it ever happen to you, that you got into a relationship and during the first weeks or months everything was just perfect and the sky looked a bit pinker through your glasses? *Glass shattering* I had this phase with Groningen too, and now it is over!

I moved to Groningen a little over 10 months ago now, and while I still love living here and would like to stay and try my luck at the job market too, I’d like to think that I see things more realistically now. First, I jokingly said to my friends: “The honeymoon phase is over”. What do I mean? It would be very Dutch of me just to start complaining without further reason, but I thought, “Okay, there are things, which are weird for me, but there are things, which they do better too!” So here is a list of cultural differences between Hungary/Eastern-Europe and the Netherlands! Who does it better?

*Disclaimer: This post contains generalization and exaggeration, and does not mean to hurt anyone in any way. Please don’t take me too seriously because I didn’t do proper research, for once there is not going to be a reference list at the end of my piece!

Curtains

Let me paint you a word picture. You are going out, of course, you are already a bit late (because you are not Dutch), so you are kind of all over the place. You quickly change in your living room, and then suddenly you look out the window and make eye contact with a stranger! Why? How could this happen? Oh, yes, Dutch people don’t have light, semi-transparent curtains, just the big old block-out drapes. I have heard several explanations for this, apparently, it is not a recent trend; people would do the same hundreds and hundreds of years ago, claiming “there is nothing to hide” or “people should see our opulence”. In Hungary? We just have 2 layers of curtains. The block-out ones and the light ones. There is still light in the room, but no awkward eye contact. 

Eastern-Europe: 1 Netherlands: 0

Other home rules

What is the first thing you do when you arrive at someone’s place? (Oh only if you didn’t die from climbing the super steep stairs, which are also Dutch delicacies). You greet your host and then when you enter their home, you take off your shoes. Or you just walk in with your shoes on, because you came here flying and you didn’t touch anything outside. C’mon people, especially in a country where it rains a lot, don’t make it harder for your hosts by making a mess, just take off your shoes at the entrance.

Eastern-Europe: 2 Netherlands: 0

Enjoying the sun 

I might have been a bit hard on my favorite Dutchies so far, so here is something they do better! Do you ever bike through the city and see people carrying tables and chairs or maybe their dinner somewhere? Every time there is sun during the day, the Dutch must say “Carpe diem!” (Literal translation: “Grab the sun!”), because they just take everything in their homes and sit outside to enjoy a beer or a glass of wine, no matter the temperature! And honestly go, Dutchies, go! And wait for me! We all know the benefits of Vitamin D, and especially here in the North, we just have to let go of waiting for better weather and enjoy the sun we have! I don’t have to mention that I’ve never seen this anywhere else, especially in Hungary, so point to the Netherlands! 

Eastern-Europe: 2 Netherlands: 1

Dinner time

When do you usually have dinner? I think since I go to university, dinner time is usually at 8-9 pm for me, but in my childhood memories, dinner also wouldn’t be sooner than 7-9 pm. Well, if you like to go out for drinks after dinner, you are in luck, with Dutch people you can already start drinking from 18.30! That’s right, a lot of Dutch people would have dinner around 6 pm already. A friend of mine told me that this is something recent, which their parent’s generation started. You work until 5 and then you are already hungry and longing for your family, so why not have dinner? And the more I think about it, it makes perfect sense! Plus if you go to bed early, it is better to have dinner earlier too, right? (So now I only need to go to sleep on time, before implementing this.) 

Eastern-Europe: 2 Netherlands: 2

Restrooms

So toilets are pretty functional places, usually, you don’t spend a lot of time there, do you? (If you do, leave your phone out! The air is full of gems!!!). So, because of the functionality, there is no need to decorate it, right? Maybe a fake plant or a candle here and there, and that is the most I’ve seen in Hungary. But boy, was I wrong… Dutch people do take decorating the washroom really seriously. I’ve seen everything from birthday calendars, to art pieces, report cards and childhood pictures! And you know what, I’m an adult, I can admit when I am wrong. The Dutch do it better! I thoroughly enjoy reading the funny comments on the reports or looking at someone as a baby as a way of passing time in there! 

Eastern-Europe: 2 Netherlands: 3

Agendas

Did your evening free up or did you just feel spontaneously celebrating a passing grade, you didn’t think you were going to get? Good for you! But better call your international friends. If you didn’t agree on the date with your Dutch friends at least 1 week prior (2 weeks is of course better), then don’t count on them showing up. Dutchies notoriously plan and note down everything in their agenda and no, you can’t mess with that! Doing my Bachelor’s in Budapest, I always scheduled big events like birthdays or end of the exam period celebrations, but if a friend just wanted to meet, we said let’s do it next week! And no, we didn’t start to look for a specific time slot until the week arrived, and yes, sometimes we would go out on that very day! What a horror. 

Eastern-Europe: 3 Netherlands: 3

I feel like this little tie would be the perfect way to end this, but I’m sorry, I’m too petty for that. So as a goodbye, please enjoy a short list of culture shocks I stumbled into, and I wish your stay in Groningen is going to be as amazing as you want it to be!

Other shocks

  • Not using escalators correctly. Ever in a hurry and climbing up on the escalator? Not here, because Dutch people don’t leave the left side empty for people in a hurry!
  • Medicine on the shelf. In need of cold medicine? Don’t go to the pharmacy! (Why would you go there to buy medicine??) Just walk into any drug store and help yourself! Good luck figuring out what the Dutch label says.
  • Amazing cheese. Honestly, this is something, which I didn’t see coming. I heard that Dutch people are Cheese people, but I had no idea how good the cheese was here! Now I cannot eat cheese from the supermarket in Hungary.
  • You can’t use credit cards. “Oh, so you would like to pay with a credit card? That’s sweet, how long are you visiting Groningen?” Get ready, that for some reason, Maestro here is more popular. (I think something to do with the commission of Mastercard, and Dutch people being infamously cheap).
  • Paying separately. What do you mean? Just send a Tikkie! Pubs and restaurants don’t separate bills, claiming that takes too much time, but I guess it takes the same time around everywhere else in the world and yet they still do it?

Food in the wall! Have you ever wanted a burger at night, but didn’t want to talk to anyone or stand in line? Dutch people are way ahead of you! Just whip out your debit card(!) at De Hoek, and enjoy your burger or eierball without the judgy looks of the staff!

Feel free to contact me if you want to discuss more on cultural differences or any other information!

About the author

Kitti Tóth
Kitti Tóth

Hi, how are you doing? My name is Kitti and to be honest, I prefer to say that I am Eastern-European, I feel like it gives a better idea to people about the culture I grew up in. Like any 18-year-old, I was not sure about what I would like to study, so I chose Business Administration and Management. My course allowed me to choose a specialization later; I ended up with Human Resource Management. During my Bachelor’s, I experienced the joy of volunteering, I joined the local ESN section to help international students, and I spent a year on the board of the local ESN section. For my Master’s I chose again under the umbrella of Business Administration; a Master in Change Management, to help me pursue consultancy as a career, but in a different city (and country) this time!